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Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 1/14/15

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayWelcome back for more Hump Day fun. It’s 2015 and we have a whole new round of filth lined up for you this year! We’ll ease in slowly to 2015 with a fairly tame set of tunes that aren’t particularly blunt but they get the point across. The International Blues Challenge is happening next week so if you’ll be on the road to Memphis you might think about a whole other kind of joyride while you’re cruising down the highway.

Since the dawn of the automobile, it has not only been used as a sexual metaphor in song, it’s also been used as a rolling hotel room for young lovers everywhere. Some musicians have worked their exploits into songs. Some have sung about the woe of seeing their lover in the car of another. You just can’t trust a woman who will spend the day riding around town while you’re hard at work! Still others have written songs about the desire to go for midnight rides. Naturally, these songs are about making sure the young ladies are safe and not walking late at night along dangerous roadways. Their safety is your primary concern, right fellas? And if there happen to be some submarine races happening, you’ll be more than happy to give the ladies a ride, if you know what I mean.

So, this week we’ll look at the evolution of a relationship as it moves from one car-related stage to the last. First, when the romance is new you want to take your young lover for a ride in your car under the romantic moonlit sky. Howlin’ Wolf knew this long before he left Memphis. He tells us all about it in “Baby, Ride With Me.”

Next, the romance has waned. You’re working hard all day long and you get the feeling your woman isn’t hanging around the house just waiting for you to come home. She’s having fun joyriding in some other guy’s car. Lightnin’ Hopkins had it happen to him and he shares his misery in “Automobile Blues.”

Eventually, everything comes to an end. Relationships are a lot like cars. They’re exciting and powerful when new, but they take some hits – a few bumps in the road, somebody in a parking lot slams into them a few times, the bumper gets out of shape, the paint job fades, things start to leak… Sure you can fix it up a little, give it a good jump to get it going but in the end it’s time to part ways. It might be a difficult split. Jimmy Thackery has some great advice for handling the break up.

 

Howlin’ Wolf Baby Ride With Me

Lightnin’ Hopkins Automobile Blues

Jimmy Thackery Cool Guitars

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 12/10/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayChristmasZat you Santy Claus? Creeping around after midnight, jiggling your sack, checking out our stockings, and delivering your loads? If you’re going to be playing Santa this year, you’ve come to the right place to pick up some pointers on what the adults might be expecting. That’s right, it’s another Holiday Hump Day installment. There’s no Blue Christmas here and with a little luck and persuasion, no blue Christmas balls either. That sounds dirty!

Lots of Christmas songs are about Santa delivering his presents, and this week we look at some songs suggesting that whoever is playing Santa at their house might have a little extra work to do. Now you might think it’s just the guys looking for a little extra Christmas good will, but the ladies are waiting with the mistletoe hung high and low.

First up we have Lil’ Ed And The Blues Imperials with “I’m Your Santa.” So if you are looking for a man in red to bring you that special gift, Ed’s your man. If Ed’s busy making house calls, William Clarke offers his services in “Please Let Me Be Your Santa Claus.” He’s looking forward to your red hot kisses under the Christmas tree. I hope you like pine needles in your stockings.

If you’re looking for someone to deck your halls, Jimmy Butler is offering his services. Jimmy wants to trim your tree for you and he seems pretty sure you’ll be happy with his work. He should definitely make sure he stops at Shakura S’Aida’s house this year. She’s looking for a man to “Be My Santa” and she’s encouraging her Santa to bring that bag of toys. Do the girls on the naughty list get different toys?

You better make sure you get back in a flash from your midnight ride, or Victoria Spivey ain’t gonna let your see her Santa Claus. I’m pretty sure she’s not talking about her collection of Hallmark Santa ornaments.

Happy Hump Day, everybody! Now get out there and spread that Christmas cheer.

Lil’ Ed And The Blues Imperials I’m Your Santa

William Clarke – Please Let Me Be Your Santa Claus

Jimmy Butler Trim Your Tree

Shakura S’Aida Be My Santa

Victoria Spivey I Ain’t Gonna Let You See My Santa Claus

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 12/3/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayChristmasHo ho ho! What’d you call me? Hey! It must be Hump Day again. Christmas is coming and it occurred to me that the man with the bag sees a lot of action this time of year, if you know what I mean…

Santa Claus apparently gets a Hall Pass from Mrs. Claus every December. If the songs are to be believed, Kris Kringle is spreading more than joy at Christmas. I’m not sure if he’s a jolly old elf or a dirty old man. He certainly has an eye for the ladies and the ladies are more than willing to wait for Santa under the mistletoe to barter for bigger and better presents.

Blues men and women of all eras have fallen under Santa’s spell. Some have even gone so far as to impersonate Santa for the nefarious purposes of re-gifting beef logs, unwrapping presents, and removing stockings.

Albert King is playing Santa this year and he makes one thing clear: “Santa Claus Wants Some Loving.” He’s been working all year and needs to cut loose a little. C’mon ladies, Santa loves your cookies and he likes his milk straight from the tap!

B.B. King takes a slightly different approach. Skip the chimney, Santa’s coming in the back door. Either way, that sounds dirty. I get the feeling B.B.’s Santa is spreading love and joy the whole year. Swiss Colony was made for this Santa. They’ve got beef logs, meat sticks, and summer sausages, and Back Door Santa’s giving it to everybody he can. As B.B. King sings, old St. Nick don’t come but once a year. No wonder he makes it last all night…

Shemekia Copeland has the cure for Santa’s Christmas Blues but she can’t get him to stick around to sample her goodies. She wants to get her jollies straight from Mr. Kringle. Her tree is trimmed and she’ll deck his halls real good, wink wink nudge nudge. Christmas Eve is on Hump Day this year so maybe she’ll get her wish this time around.

Albert King Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’

B.B. King Back Door Santa

Shemekia Copeland Stay A little Longer Santa

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 11/26/14

Welcome back for Hump Day! Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States and I am from the United States, I’m dedicating Hump Day to food and eating! Eating what? That’s for you to decide. Whatever it is, Memphis Minnie wants you to “Keep On Eating.” I’m guessing she’s talking about her hot buttered biscuits but you never know…

While you’re feasting on Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie, remember your manner! Take T.V. Slim’s advice: “Don’t Reach Across My Plate.” I first heard this song as done by Albert Collins on his Frostbite album. I couldn’t find a clip with Albert’s version but the original certainly gets the point across. If you can find Albert’s version check it out. His keen sense of humor really shines.

Later on after the football games and a tryptophan and carbohydrate induced nap, maybe you’ll be looking for a light snack. Lonnie Mack and Stevie Ray Vaughan know exactly how you feel. They’ve got the “Oreo Cookie Blues.” If you’re looking for something else to snack on, A.C. Reed and Albert Collins can offer you some “Junk Food.” I know most of these tunes aren’t particularly risque but A.C. Reed does keep talking about a footlong…

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I hope you enjoy a day of food, family, friends, and blues. I’m off to whip up some Blues Biscuits…

 

T.V. Slim Don’t Reach Across My Plate

 

Memphis Minnie Keep On Eating

 

Lonnie Mack & Stevie Ray Vaughan Oreo Cookie Blues

 

A.C. Reed Junk Food

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 11/12/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayHave you got the Hump Day blues? Feeling down? Feeling low? A little sluggish? Need to put a little spring in your step? Forget the Snake Oil salesmen. It’s time to call on your doctor – your special doctor who loves to make house calls and give you a thorough exam. He’s got the cure for all your ills and guarantees to make you feel good. Real good.

That’s right. Even in Blues playing doctor is a popular game. Today we have Muddy Waters with “I’m Your Doctor.” The tune is the B-side of Muddy’s 1960 Chess single “Read Way Back.” Muddy has his mojo working overtime on this one and Little Walter is writing harmonica euphoria prescriptions. Muddy knows he can cure your headache with a double dose of love so please strip down and get ready to be probed. Who’s ready for the rectal exam?

Next we have George Thorogood & The Destroyers performing “Love Doctor” from their album The Hard Stuff (that sounds dirty). He proudly declares “the doctor is IN!” after offering to operate on you and kiss it where it hurts. Now that’s bedside manner!

Finally we have Johnny Winter and “Medicine Man” from his album Let Me In (that also sounds dirty). This is low down and grooving with guitar licks to soothe your aches and pains but this medicine man has other ideas about how to maintain your happiness and well-being. He’d also like to remind you that “your g.p.’s got cold hands” and “Dr. Quincy’s much too old” just in case you were thinking maybe Quincy was available for the evening’s examinations. Don’t suffer alone, let Johnny Winter in – he’s the warm-handed medicine man.

Happy Hump Day friends. Go forth and operate…

 

Muddy Waters I’m Your Doctor

George Thorogood & The Destroyers Love Doctor

Johnny Winter Medicine Man

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 11/5/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayHump Day baby! Hump that bump! Bump that Booty. It’s Booty time, booty time across the USA! Like that classic Blues band the Spin Doctors once said “Gotta love it, it’s my duty, she got a big fat funky booty.” Tongue in cheek right? Right!

I don’t know how or why but this week is Booty week. Let’s blame Linsey Alexander who just put out a new disc called Come Back Baby (reviewed here) and he has a tune called “Booty Call” that’s catchy, naughty, and bawdy. The blues men have a long history of loving a big woman with a big back side. From Leadbelly’s “Big Fat Woman Blues” to Big Joe Turner’s “TV Mama” – the one with the big wide screen – the blues loves a booty. Whether they’re calling it, bumping it, humping it or just looking at up close and personal, they love it.

Freddie King was a fan of the shakin’ booty, and as you’ll see in the Bobby Rush video, so is he! There’s plenty of gratuitous booty shakin’ when Bobby Rush is on stage with Mizz Lowe and the other dancers. Watching Mizz Lowe work it might not be safe for work so keep it on the down low.

Last, we have Son Seals. Poor Son was so depressed by the skinny women in the big city he declared he was “Goin’ Home” where women got meat on their bones – and a big fat ass (we added that part but he was thinking it!). Somebody shoot thang! Happy Hump Day friends. Enjoy!

 

Linsey Alexander Booty Call

http://vimeo.com/105465132

Freddie King Shake Your Booty (Live)

Bobby Rush I Ain’t Studdin’ You (Live)

Son Seals Goin’ Home

 

 

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 10/29/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayHappy Hump Day folks. This week we’re looking at a song that has become a staple in Rock and Blues. “Good Morning Little School Girl” has been done by hundreds of artists over the years. It is possibly the most popular song every written about pedophilia. The song was first recorded by John Lee “Sonny Boy” Williamson in 1937 as “Good Morning, School Girl.” In true blues fashion the tune is borrowed and in this case, the melody is from Son Bonds’ “Back And Side Blues.” I couldn’t find a clip of it to share but you can find audio out there on Spotify and other retailers if you want to compare them.

The song has been done many different ways. Performers like Mississippi Fred McDowell, Lightnin’ Hopkins, and John Lee Hooker all did country blues versions. In 1965, Junior Wells and Buddy Guy recorded it for Hoodoo Man Blues giving it a distinctive guitar riff and bass line. That signature riff influenced nearly every future version of the song, especially in the Rock world. From The Yardbirds, Ten Years After, Johnny Winter, and ZZ Top, to the Allman Brothers Band and beyond, Buddy and Junior inspired an army of guitarists to whip out their big riffs and woo the school girls. It creeps me out.

As with many Blues songs, the more it’s covered the more it is changed. The words change a lot. the original were perhaps least creepy with only the first verse focusing on the underage object of his affection. Johnny Winter took the lechery to whole new levels with lines like “When I was twelve, baby when I was twelve years old – You know I was looking for a schoolgirl just to eat my jelly roll.” Alvin Lee from Ten Years After just wanted to ball you all night long, so at least you have that going for you. The only saving grace for this song is that in 1937 a lot of people got married well before the age of 18. And there’s that monster riff.

We present to you a few different versions for your amusement and/or horror.

John Lee “Sonny Boy” Williamson Good Morning, School Girl

Junior Wells’ Chicago Blues Band Good Morning Little School Girl

Buddy Guy Good Morning Little School Girl

Ten Years After Good Morning Little School Girl

Muddy Waters with Johnny Winter Good Morning Little School Girl

The Allman Brothers Band Good Morning Little School Girl

 

 

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 10/08/14

BluesBiscuitsHumpdayWelcome back for some Hump Day fun. I was in the mood for Lonnie Brooks this week and it led me to Lonnie’s “Wife For Tonight.” Now, Lonnie seems to be looking for loving so I’m hoping he didn’t end up with a Honey-do list, maxed-out credit cards, and dinner with the in-laws.

Thinking about Lonnie thinking about his nagging woman issues got me thinking about Buddy Guy’s version of “Someone Else Is Steppin’ In (Slippin’ Out, Slippin’ In).” It’s gone by other names but I like Buddy’s version the best. His facial expressions sell the song. The tune also serves as a warning to guys out there looking for a wife tonight. Maybe the wife you already have is looking for a husband for tonight. Maybe you should all go home and put things right.

Which brings us to Magic Slim & The Teardrops and “Shake It.” Maybe if you engaged your lover and got her shaking that thing you wouldn’t be out at night looking for another. Give it a try. Happy Hump Day everybody. Have some fun and shake it with the ones you love.

 

Lonnie Brooks Wife For Tonight

Buddy Guy Someone Else Is Steppin’ In (Slippin’ Out, Slippin’ In)

Magic Slim & The Teardrops Shake It

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 10/01/14

RoosterThere’s a famous story Mike Bloomfield used to tell about his natural confusion when he heard the Hoochie Coochie Man Muddy Waters proclaim his love for sucking cock. What young Mike didn’t realize was that the term “cock,” in early 20th Century southern black communities, referred to female genitalia. Mike was probably thinking of the what they called the “cock opener.” The term seems to have popped up from the verb “to cock,” which a lot of 17th Century English colonists used to refer to intercourse. As their slaves learned English, they of course learned the slang along with it. 150 years later, Muddy Waters is regaling his young white acolyte with tales of sucking cock. Thus we erect this week’s Hump Day installment. We dedicate the following blues licks to the ladies.

Louise Johnson was Charley Patton’s girlfriend and a barrelhouse pianist. At one point, Louise went with Charley, Son House, and Willie Brown to Grafton, Wisconsin to make records for Paramount. During those sessions, she cut her total recorded legacy: four sides. One of those four sides was a celebration of “cocking it on the wall” which was slang for sex against a wall outside a juke joint.

Her song “On The Wall” has this stanza:

Well, I’m goin’ to Memphis, stop at Church’s Hall
I’m gonna show you women how to cock it on the wall
I’m goin’ to Memphis, stop at Church’s Hall
I’m goin’ to show them womens, honey, how to cock it on a wall

Sometime in the mid 50’s, The Clovers, who brought you “Love Potion #9,” recorded a parody of Dixieland jazz standard “Darktown Strutters’ Ball.” They called their version “Rotten Cocksucker’s Ball.” We may never know if they meant it like Muddy, but it sure seems like it. I really hope they had a good time, they seemed to be looking forward to it.

Lastly, we have The Rolling Stones final kiss off to their record label Decca at a time the Stones wanted to start their own label. Decca was demanding a final song and the band was being bratty and indignant. The Stones turned in a low-key, mostly boring tune called “Cocksucker Blues.” Decca refused to release it and realized they weren’t getting a marketable song so they let the band go.

Hey, they got their name from a Muddy Waters tune and named a song after one of his favorite activities. It had to be included.

Louise Johnson On The Wall

The Clovers Rotten Cocksuckers’ Ball

The Rolling Stones Cocksucker Blues

Hump Day! Risque Tunes For Your Midweek Blues 9/17/14

VictoriaSpiveyTime’s running out on Hump Day but it’s not too late for some black snake moaning. Black snakes crawling, black snakes creeping, and crawling king snakes everywhere. The snake, the serpent, the biblical slithering source of sin – it turns up often in blues and it’s offering fruit from the tree of carnal knowledge. “Black Snake Blues” by Victoria Spivey is the first known recorded reference to the Black Snake metaphor. Victoria recorded the song in 1926 for Okeh. It is thought that Blind Lemon Jefferson wrote his “Black Snake Moan” in response to Spivey’s tune. Response songs were common in the early days of recorded music. If a song became popular, others tried to capitalize by recording an answer song. This is a trend that continues today, for instance, 50 Cent recorded “21 Questions” and then Lil’ Mo recorded “21 Answers.” Also, all throughout the history of blues, but especially in the early days, musicians would capitalize on the popularity of a song by re-writing in slightly and issuing it. So, once the Black Snake was unleashed it started turning up in dark places everywhere.

One of the most famous uses of the snake in blues is John Lee Hooker’s “Crawling King Snake.” The Hook recorded several versions and so have a myriad of other artists including The Doors. Jim Morrison was considered a major sex symbol in the late sixties and he knew how to supercharge the music with sexuality. He, and The Doors brought the danger, mystery, and sexuality of blues into their apocalyptic rock music.

So today we have Victoria Spivey’s tune that started it all, Jefferson’s answer song, The Hook rocking out with Foghat and Paul Butterfield as he asserts his dominance, and some rare footage of The Doors recording John Lee’s classic. Maybe next time we’ll feature David Coverdale singing about his Whitesnake. Maybe not…

Victoria Spivey Black Snake Blues

 

Blind Lemon Jefferson Black Snake Moan

 

John Lee Hooker Crawling King Snake

 

The Doors Crawling King Snake

 

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